Day 5--Love this little man!

Today was our first full day with Jax. He woke up groggy and a little unsure, but after eating a little breakfast he was much better. He ate some apples and rice/seaweed in the room and then we went to the breakfast that the hotel provides. His foster mom said he wasn't a picky eater and so far that's true. He loves apples, but makes me so nervous because he stuffs the whole thing in his mouth! 

Today we really started to see into his personality. He's so inquisitive. He has to know how everything works. Across from our hotel is a park called Millenium Eye. It is made up of hundreds of big silver spheres and at the bottom are lighting tracks that show people's hopes and dreams. You send your thoughts by text and then they are reflected off of the spheres. It is so beautiful at night.

Jax was mesmerized with the words and lights and how they kept scrolling across. He would bend down and touch them. Then he'd run to the top of the words and run down the hill with them. He could do that for hours! If you look closely, you will notice that he has a butter container from breakfast in his hand. He loves to hold on to things. This morning, he chose butter!

One other thing that we have noticed about his personality is that he is very meticulous. Everything has it's place and needs to be put away quickly. Steve and I were playing with him and his toys and he would play for a minute or two and then he would put the toy back in the basket. He hates to have his hands dirty. When he would touch the lights at the Millenium Eye he would get dirt on his hands and was not happy until he was clean again. He will also do that when he's eating rice. He hasn't mastered using silverware, so uses his hands to eat sticky rice and then hates when there's any rice on his hands. He's so funny!

Oh, and light switches, he's obsessed with them. He could turn them on and off for hours! It's probably good that there are a ton of switches in this place because he's in love!

After the park, we were a little tired, so we headed back to our room for a little nap. He definitely loves his daddy!

My boys!

We did have a grieving episode today that lasted for a couple of hours. Not the crying and screaming from yesterday, this was more of a cry, whimper, doesn't want anything kind of thing. He didn't want to be held, then he'd cry if he wasn't. Didn't want to eat or drink, but would bawl if you put it away.

Once he was back to the little man that we love so much, we ate supper and then all went to bed around 8. We were all just beat!

It's now about 3 in the morning. We will be boarding big blue plane in about 8 hours. Please pray for our safe travels and that Jaxson loves to fly.....and if he doesn't love to fly, maybe he'll be a great napper on the plane :-)!

Family Day

While everyone else is sleeping, I think that I can finally write with a clear head on my thoughts about Family Day.

There's so much to write about today. Well, our day started super early. Of course it was 3AM and neither one of us could sleep. It seems to be our normal here. I got all of our gifts together for all of the people at Holt. Steve cleaned up the apartment. Then I ironed all our clothes and got everything ready for the big moment.

When we got to Holt we were really early, about 30 minutes early. The lady motioned to us and said that our son was in the other room and to come and see him. I walked in and there he was. It was surreal. The child that I had waited 1 year, 1 month and 3 days to see was standing at my feet. He just looked up at me and went about his business of walking around like he owned the place.

His foster sister's husband was pointing to me and calling me "Omma." He would look up and look and then return to playing.

I was finally able to woo him with our little camera. He took lots of pictures. Mostly of his fingers.

Then we headed upstairs with our social worker, DJ, for our meeting with the foster family. During this meeting it was amazing to me how loved Jax was. His foster mother, both foster sisters, his older foster sister's husband and his foster mother's older sister was there. They had all taken off work to be there to say good bye to him.

The whole meeting time was a blur....I wanted to soak in everything that they had to say about our son and I wanted to watch his every move at the same time. I learned the important stuff like what he likes to eat, how he sleeps, how much he loves to take baths with his toys, but probably the most important things to take away from that meeting were their wishes for Jax in the future.

They want him to be involved in sports, like golf and soccer. They talked about how strong he was and what good balance. They also talked about how smart he is and how he will mimic everything you do and say. They asked about when he will start his formal schooling and they were thankful I was a teacher, so I could teach him many things.

One his first birthday the babies pick from a handful of items and Jax picked the microphone. They hope that means he will be a great speaker some day, maybe a politician, pastor, or professor.

They told us that their were Christian and that he had been attending services at the Presbyterian Church. He has yet to be baptized.

We talked about how we plan on adopting again and the foster mother asked if we would bring Jax back with us and she could see him again. There is no hesitation for us to bring him back to see her. I thought that she had fostered many babies before, but Jax was her first. My heart was breaking for her as tears would stream down her face.

Then it was time to head downstairs for his pre-flight physical which he HATED! We took a few more pictures of Jax's first family and his forever family.

Then it was time to say their last good-byes. Steve and I waited outside while the family had their time with him. After a couple minutes, they came outside. We got in our taxi and we were off.

He cried most of the cab ride back to the hotel. Then when we got back he sat on the sofa and allowed me to comfort him. He would walk behind me so that I could carry him on my back, which really comforted him. We tried getting out the carrier and he wanted NOTHING to do with that.

He cried for about 45 minutes straight. Then he finally cried himself to sleep on the couch with his visor. He did not want that visor off at all!

Once he woke up, he got a little more adventurous. He walked around a bit. Played a little with toys. Let Steve hold him and they played Angry Birds on his phone. Steve was going to run down to the 7-11 in the basement of our hotel and Jax started screaming because he didn't want him to leave. He does not like it if we are not all in the same room together and he really like to tell us where he wants us to sit in relationship to him. I'm usually assigned the couch next to him and Steve the computer chair.

He goes through moments of playing fine and then something will trigger a memory and he starts crying again. Not the screaming crying of the cab, but little whimpers.

He did eat a nice supper of rice wrapped in seaweed and apples. He drank a glass of milk. Then when he started getting tired, he wanted Steve to hold him and Steve rocked him to sleep. Then we all headed to bed together a now family of three!

Please pray for us today, that his little heart begins to heal and that he really starts to trust us. I'm hoping that the weather will cooperate today and it will be nice enough to go outside and play.

Day Three

This post is going to be a mixture of what we did on day three and also some reflections of Seoul and a little reflection on the wide range of emotions that I'm feeling today.

I thought that I would start today talking about Seoul. Seoul is a very clean safe city. I've never felt afraid or nervous. We take taxis EVERYWHERE....I have gotten very good at flagging them down. Yesterday, there was a taxi on the other side of road, I motioned and he whipped around and picked us up. I attribute it to all the years of watching Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City!

I was worried about the language barrier before we arrived, but it really hasn't been a problem. Most places have both English and Korean options. The biggest language barrier is with the taxis and our hotel gave us DMCville's address and telephone number. We also have a map of Seoul that we usually just use to point exactly where we want to go. So far, so good!

Now for what we did today. We wanted to lay low today and not do too much. We started by eating breakfast at the hotel and then we were off to HomePlus. HomePlus is like a Super-Walmart. We walked around for a long time. We stocked up on some Pororo things and got some groceries.

Pororo the Little Penguin

We are staying very close to the Seoul World Cup Stadium and HomePlus is in the stadium. The stadium was built in 2002 for the FIFA World Cup. We had planned to go to HomePlus on Monday, but FC Seoul was playing a home match at the stadium and we knew that it would be crazy in the area. I wish we would have known about the match because it would have been fun to go to.

We then walked around by our hotel for a while and found a sandwich shop for lunch.

After that we came back to the hotel and hung out. We also took a short nap. Then we decided that our last meal as a duo would be Outback Steakhouse, mostly because it's close and I was wanting a little comfort from home.

Last night with just the two of us

I was reflecting on how much our lives are going to change in the next 24 hours. We are going to have a son. We are going to be responsible for another person's life and well-being. Steve and I have been together for almost 7 years. We have been able to come and go as we please. We have been able to pack up and go away for a weekend and not think about if we are taking a baby with us or getting a sitter.

There are so many emotions going through my head tonight. Fear, excitement, nervousness. I'm hoping that Jax's heart heals quickly.  I hope that he accepts us and learns to trust us. 

Well, it's time for bed and hopefully, we will be able to get some rest, tomorrow is going to be the biggest day of our lives so far!

Day Two

We woke up early for our city tour today. The city tour is set up by our agency and I was a little worried because our tour guide was a little late. When he arrived, he was very apologetic and said that none of the taxis could find our hotel. Which although it hadn't happened to us yet, it had happened to another family that is staying here.

Our new tradition of the morning photo

We started our tour by going to the Gyeonbokgung Palace. It was amazing! The palace was originally built in 1394 and the name means "Palace of Shining Happiness." The palace is in the process of 40 restoration after being nearly destroyed by the Japanese government.

The changing of the guard ceremony

The detail was amazing

Sundial

This was the Gyeonghoeru Paviolion. It was used for special banquets during the Joseon Dynasty

With our tour guide, Tae-Jun

Our tour guide was great. He volunteers with Holt to give the city tours in hopes of practicing and improving his English. He is also studying Chinese and Japanese.

After touring the palace, we went shopping in Insadong. It was very busy, probably because of today being Buddha's birthday. We found lots of gifts for our families. Tae-Jun really helped us to find all of the things that we wanted. We got wedding ducks for our home and Jax.

One of Steve's wishes for this trip was to have traditional Korean bbq, so after we were done shopping, Tae-Jun took us to one of his favorite restaurants. This restaurant was off the beaten path and in a part of Seoul that we had not been to before. The bbq was so good! The side dishes squid and pickled fish were a little different and to be honest, I didn't try them. The kimchi was very spicy, so I didn't have very much. We were also served a traditional Korean soup.

Jet lag is still kicking our butts. We wake up at around 4 every morning. Then by 4 in the afternoon we are exhausted, so we take a little nap, but the last two days our little naps have been between 4-5 hours. Then we don't go to bed until late. It's becoming a vicious cycle. Now it's 1:20am here and I'm going to try and get some sleep! Until tomorrow....