My Wish

Someone should have warned me. I blame my adoptive parent friends for not warning me about the emotional mess I would be when I think of my son and the mothers he had before me. It all started about a week ago. I was driving back from Iowa City. Jax was in the back seat eating a Tootsie Pop. It was the only way that I thought I could keep him awake while we were driving. It worked for about a half an hour and then he fell asleep with the sucker in his hand resting oh so cutely on his forehead.

But I digress....this post is not about a sucker or how absolutely adorable Jax is or how much I love him or how blessed we are by him. This post is about a song. A song I heard on the radio that day: My Wish by Rascal Flatts. I had heard the song many times before, but something about that night and that song just struck me.

If you haven't heard it before here are the lyrics:

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slowAnd each road leads you where you want to goAnd if you're faced with the choice and you have to chooseI hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closedI hope you keep on walkin' ‘til you find the windowIf it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smileBut more than anything, more than anything
My wish for youIs that this life becomes all that you want it toYour dreams stay big, your worries stay smallYou never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' toI hope you know somebody loves youAnd wants the same things tooYeah, this is my wish
I hope you never look back but you never forgetAll the ones who love you and the place you leftI hope you always forgive and you never regretAnd you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistakeAnd always give more than you takeBut more than anything, yeah more than anything
My wish for youIs that this life becomes all that you want it toYour dreams stay big, your worries stay smallYou never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' toI hope you know somebody loves youAnd wants the same things tooYeah, this is my wish, yeah yeah

As I was listening and singing I started thinking. I thought back to that day 3 months ago when we met with Jax's foster family and they shared their dreams for him. They knew how smart he was. They wanted him involved in sports like golf and soccer. They talked about how much of an entertainer he was and how he loved to make people laugh. They told us of how he had picked the microphone at his Dol and how he was going to be a great important man. There love for him is something I didn't understand on that day, but now I appreciate it. I'm amazed by.

Then I was thinking of Jaxson's first mother, his birth mother.  The woman who selflessly chose life for her son. A woman for whom I have the most respect and gratitude. A woman that I pray for regularly. I wonder what her wish for her son is and more than anything I wonder and hope and pray that I can raise him to be the man that she wishes him to be!